College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
