I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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