all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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