ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
