she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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