U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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