My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
