Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
