so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
