they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
