we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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