Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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