I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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