Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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