I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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