My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
