last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
