Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
