wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
