if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
