I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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