C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
