chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize