I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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