To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
