I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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