Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
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i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
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That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My vagina is very pro this idea
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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