But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
