i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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