Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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