ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
