To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
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