there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
