Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
