i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
