sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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