Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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