woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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