so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize