i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
