It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
