This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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