Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
