she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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