Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
