oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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