You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
