who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
