i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize