wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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