Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize