I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
