ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
