Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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