We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
