Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
