When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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