There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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