I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
