I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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